“The Absent are Safe Here”

rlew — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 08:05:35 +0000

“The Absent are Safe Here” declares a plaque on the living room wall of Robertson McQuilkin, so the story is told by Haddon Robinson (and written about by Ray Pritchard). To deter himself and guests from speaking ill of others behind their back, McQuilkin put the plaque on display to look to when words drifted astray. I especially admire the list of types of negative talk Pritchard gives to avoid:

No cheap shots
No sharing of gossip
No repeating of rumors
No judging of motives
No sharing of details that should remain private
No trash talk
No insinuations
No angry invectives
No making yourself look good at the expense of others
No maximizing the sins of others
No adding aggravating details to make the absent look worse
No dismissing an unkind remark by saying, “I was only joking.”

If we all watched our speech with these rules, I think we’d go quite a way in building a community of trust and grace. I don’t know what McQuilkin’s plaque looked like, but I made a version for my cubicle. If you’d like a .pdf file, let me know.

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“The Absent are Safe Here”